Years ago, when we were very much in the throws of GAPS, someone reached out to me via Instagram and shared a phrase that had helped her in her journey. She said, quality of life is not quality of skin. It really struck a chord in me because I had been struggling with the quality of Raleigh’s skin and how much it affected my quality of life. My mood would hinge on how he looked and when his eczema would flare I would often spiral. I was very hard on myself because I felt responsible for how Raleigh looked to the outside world.
GAPS was a gamble. I was blazing my own trail, trusting that where I had been led was in fact the place that Raleigh would find healing. There was intense anxiety from trying to manage the diet and showing up each new day despite how I felt or how Raleigh looked.
And when this sweet person messaged me with this saying I began to realize that I was allowing the quality of Raleigh’s skin to dictate the quality of our lives. In many ways Raleigh was unfazed. He was a joyful and energetic four year old despite suffering from severe eczema. He laughed. He joked. He brought a smile to all our faces. He was a sweet blessing to our family despite all he was inflicted with physically. His quality of life wasn’t altered much. Of course he had days that were more difficult than others, but for the most part he was joyous. The quality of his life did not hinge on the quality of his skin.
So I wrote out the saying on a sticky note and stuck it above my stove. I did spend a good portion of my day there and I would be able to remind myself that our quality of life didn’t hinge on Raleigh’s quality of skin. If you look close you can see the note is speckled with fat from cooking many, many GAPS meals. It has since been moved to the inside of a cabinet that I open every day. It still reminds me. It still speaks.
The journey is wrought with many toils. It weighs heavy on the heart, the mind and the physical body. We need reminders to persevere, to look to God for strength and guidance and to treasure each day. We only have today – it is all we’ve been promised.
Quality of life is not quality of __________. Whatever it may be for you. Keep on keeping on.
And to the woman who wrote to me all those years ago: Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to do so. Your thoughtful words changed me. It is something I will never forget.
